Ghost of Her Heart
by promisesoffuture
Summary: He lost her and the more he remembered her, the more he wants to forget. Her smile, laugh and everything about her. But to want something that's gone, is worse to lose everything you love. One Shot
1. Chapter 1

One Shot

His eyes gazed over the night sky. The stars twinkled brightly and the moon casted down its silver light. Darkness consumed the earth and hushed everyone to sleep, but one boy stayed up trying to remember what her smile looked like. The memories came back to him, one by one. At some he frowned and others he smiled. Her face was the brightest star in his sky. He wished she would come back and shine for him again. The world seem to disappear when she was around. All the worries and fear always left, and all that was, was him and her. Those were the times when everything was perfect but behind every smile is a secret. One that's never really spoke until you feel your heartbreak because of it.

He loved to watch her paint. The way her eyebrows knit together in concentration. At the end of it all, there would be a beautiful picture captured by her hand. In her eyes every thing was perfect but in her world pain was a drug. He held the note she gave him the day she left.

 _Dear Jace,_

 _Where do I begin with you? I love you so much and out of all seven billion people that walk this earth, I'll miss you the most. I want to stay with you forever but I guess life has finally caught up with me. Every smile I would make was always for you. My heart was always yours. It wont change even if I'm gone. I love you, I love you, I love you. It seems like I can never say it enough. I'm so sad. So broken. I can't fix it even if I tried and trust me, I've tried. Everything is so messed up. Life is dull. We both lost someone special and I guess it was a deeper cut than it seemed. I left something for you, in Luke's farm house. It's upstairs. I hope you'll like it. Please, don't forget. Don't forget who I was to you. Don't forget all the times we've spent together. Please don't forget me. Live without me. My life may be over but yours is still going. Find someone else, she'll love you and give you more than I ever could. I may not take my place down on earth, by your side, but I will watch over you in Heaven. As your angel, as you were mine._

 _Love,_

 _Clary._

The sky never looked bigger as it did today. Jace looked upstairs and saw what she had left for him. A painting of a girl in a boys arms. He was crying and she was smiling. Two day before that, he went to visit her. Jocelyn said she was in her room but when he got there, the door opened to a girl bleeding on the floor of her room. Open cuts on her wrists. He never felt pain that bad before and he hated it. Living was now a curse to him. Every second away from her felt like death clawing at his feet. The faint figure of her smile always danced in his head. He only wished he could join her up there. To smile and laugh with her, but knowing everyday that she was gone caused every ounce of happiness to drain out.

His eyes continued to watch the stars. The more they shined, the more he lost himself in them. Like he was flying in an empty land, where he could at last be free. Even if freedom walked its way up to him, he was always lonely. What's the point of being free if your alone with no one to be free with?

Warm tears fell onto the green grass. He reached his hand up to the sky but he could never touch. It looked so close. Close enough to feel but distance. . .distance makes you want, and want slowly kills you.

"Remember when we first met?" he whispered to himself. He just hoped she could hear him. "I was such a jerk to you."

 _Clary_ _walked into her new school and sighed. She didn't want to move but her parents forced her. She looked around and saw students staring at her. She put her head down and continued to walk._

 _She found her way to her locker and opened it. As she grabbed her things she continued to walk down the hallway. There was no one to talk to and she was very lonely. She had to leave her friends behind at her old home. Lost in thought, her body collided with someone else's. Her eyes snapped up to a boy standing in front of her. He had blonde hair and golden eyes. She instantly thought he was the most beautiful thing._

 _"Watch where you're going will you?" the boy sneered. She nodded in fear and walked off. "Hey! You new here?" he asked her. She nodded shyly. "Then don't mess with me." he smirked and walked off. She sighed. 'Great first impression!' she thought as she made her way to her first class._

"If only I wasn't so much of douche." he laughed to himself. The star above him twinkled brighter and that gave him a comforting feeling.

 _Jace sat at the lunch table watching Clary draw. Her red hair and green eyes. Her freckles and dimples. She was beautiful. She was perfect._

"My heart belonged to you the first day we met. Being cold and mean helped hide my emotion." Jace said and continued to watch the night sky. "I wish I could hear your voice again. Listen to your laugh and I'd take back all the times I was such a jerk to you." He placed his hand over his eyes and cried. "Ever since I lost my parents, I never cried for anyone. That was so long ago I forgot what it felt like to cry. Here I am. Crying for you." he whispered. The pain was unreal and he wanted it to go away so bad. "I JUST WANT YOU BACK!" he screamed and let out sobs. "I want you. . .back."

 _The more we want what we can't have, the faster life kills us and the more cruel the worlds joke on us gets._

 **A/N: Well then. I got this idea when I was star gazing. I thought of a friend of mine I lost a few months ago and this kind of wrote itself. This is my first fanfic so sorry if it was super bad. I'll get better I promise. Anyway, thanks so much for reading my crappy story.**


	2. Chapter 2

After he lost Clary, Jace's life was uneventful and less happy. He didn't care because without her, he was ready to die. Nothing seemed to get better and it didn't matter to him. The sky was bright blue and the sun was brighter today, but there was nothing special. Just another day without her. Jace walked down the streets of New York on his way to the coffee shop. Java Jones was just a block away. His eyes stayed fixed on the ground. For some reason the ground was more interesting than the people passing by. The only thing he cared about was gone. Life had its cruel ways to make people suffer. There was nothing anyone could do about it. People die and suffer and hurt but that's something we just need to carry.

All his life consisted of was, work. He didn't try finding someone else to love because it didn't feel like he could ever love again. Some nights the only thing he would dream of was Clary. Her smile, laugh, fiery spirt. It just made him miss her more. Jace felt his legs carry him faster. The blur of people walking past were nothing to him. Everyday went slower with agony and pain. Her lost caused everyone to fade. Simon went to being an engineer or something nerdy. Jace wasn't listening to him. Izzy went to be a wedding planner. Alec and Magnus went to California to start a family. Jace took his chance to start a company. It got his mind off things so, it was okay. The world began to appear more to Jace. No more dreaming and just reality. Dreams are just fairy tales. When you wake up, none of it was true and it never will be.

Jace stopped when he felt his body collide into someone else. Warm coffee soaked his coat. He suppressed a growl of anger. Little things like this only make life harder, Jace thought. Just when he thought things couldn't get worse. Well, think again!

"Oh. . .I am so sorry." a voice said as the person stepped back. Jace looked up finally. His eyes were met with bright blue eyes. "Geez, I'm so clumsy." she mumbled and looked at her watch. "Sorry." she said to him but his eyes softened when he saw a little fear in her eyes. "I wasn't watching where I was going and. . .I'm going to be late for the art exhibit." she cursed under her breath. It almost seemed impossible for the sun to shine any brighter than it just did.

Art. Sounds familiar. Clary's face immediately popped up in Jace's mind. He smiled and looked down at his coat. He met Clary the same way but she didn't have coffee. "It's okay." he said and smiled at her. Blue eyes, brown, frizzy hair. Jace saw Clary in her but something completely different. The redhead was shy and never liked vanilla coffee. _Black, like my SOUL!_ She would never let him forget what coffee she liked. "We all have moments." he whispered. The girl smiled at him but her face had a little blush. Her eyes were trailing down his body. A smirk appeared on his lips. He could make any girl blush. "Do you paint?"

"Yeah, and I'm going to be late for my own art show." she smiled sarcastically. Clary, he thought again.

"How about, I get you another cup of coffee and give you a ride to your art show?" he asked. "My car is a few blocks behind." she eyed him suspiciously. "I'm a little hurt that you'd mistake me for a criminal." he put a hand on his heart and watched as she giggled. Her eyes rolled and smiled. Behind every smile is a secret. Jace knew that but secrets made thing interesting.

"Sure." she stuck out her hand. "I'm Calla." he took her hand and shook it. "Send me the dry cleaning bill, too." Jace laughed and looked down at his coat.

"I could care less about it. I'm Jace." he said. They walked down to Java Jones and for once in his life, Jace smiled. He remembered Clary but saw something Clary never had, and Calla did. Happiness that would never fade away. In turn, Jace felt something he never thought he would again. Love. Maybe it was time to stop wanting and have what he searched for, for so long. His eyes looked back up to the sky and he remembered the words Clary wrote on her painting.

 _You can never truly lose something. It'll always be a ghost in your heart._

He smiled and opened the door for Calla. She walked in and he looked at her. Yeah, it was time to stop wanting and actually have.

"I'll have a vanilla coffee, please." Calls spoke and smiled at the lady behind the counter. Jace walked up behind her and ordered his drink. Her eyes watched him and she felt a little tingle in her stomach. He paid and handed her the coffee, but he also took her hand. She blushed and looked up at him.

"So, you don't bump into anyone else." he said. She rolled her eyes but didn't make an attempt to pull away. The feeling of their hands together was something they could get used to. For some reason Jace knew there was going to be some blocks in the road but when was life ever easy? He knew he couldn't keep living like tomorrow would always come because who knows. Life always kept going for him, even if Clary's stopped, memories would never be forgotten. Because he has them, it doesn't mean Jace can't make new ones. She mumbled something under her breath. He looked at her. "What?" he asked. Calla shook her head and just walked.

"Nothing." she whispered but Jace heard it. _I'm glad I bumped into you._ Overall, Jace was too.

 **A/N: I was planning to have this be a one shot but oh well. Some people need a happy ending. Others just need to keep looking for it. (ME!) So here ya go. Hard times happen for a reason, we just need to understand that.**


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